Confidence, not exactly something I have mastered it has always been something that I have lacked however having confidence is the key to success honey, so let's find out how we can become the most confident fierce women the world has ever seen! Confidence is something that we can learn to build up as life can often tear us down and strip us of self-confidence. Confidence however can make us glow in a way that helps us to attract more things in life that we want so in saying that of course, I want to build up my confidence! Here are some mental hacks even those who have a tendency to self loathe can try to implement into their daily lives!
1) Push through self-limiting beliefs and negative self-talk
Thinking positively can help you manifest confidence and the life you want in several different ways. Focus on the positive, rather than stressing over the things that could go wrong try to twist it around and focus on what could go right instead. How you talk to yourself impacts your mood. For me, I know that when I am talking to myself negatively I tend to have more feelings of anxiety which makes me a little bit more reserved and therefore confidence goes out the window. However when I talk myself up in my head and say "wow you look great today", or "you nailed that meeting" I am a lot happier, I hold myself differently and ultimately I look more confident and more approachable. It all starts with your mindset. Replace negative words with positive ones and look at the bright side of every situation. By changing your focus internally and externally you will change your all-around state of being in the world which can change your life! Push through those thoughts of - 'I can't do this' and change it to 'I can do it, all I have to do it try'. Exercise: When you have negative thoughts try to write them down. Once you have done that try to rewrite the thought into something more positive so that you can visualize how you should be thinking every day. Another great exercise is to start writing a gratitude journal, writing what you are grateful for can really help remind you of how lucky you are which in turn makes you happier and changes your thought patterns.
2) Build a growth mindset
Confidence doesn’t come from your outward achievements – it comes from within. Being confident means that if you do fail, you can pick yourself back up and try again instead of throwing in the towel. Once you start taking actionable steps toward your goal of being confident, your beliefs will gradually start to solidify. It’s time to adopt a growth mindset and start believing that you can learn how to be more confident.
2) How you hold yourself
This one may seem obvious it but if you start doing it you will begin to feel more confident and hopefully start to naturally do these things every day. Things such as looking people in the eye when they speak to you, standing upright with your shoulders back, not slouching and maintaining your posture can all make you appear more confident. I know that on days when I feel particularly insecure I struggle to look at people directly when I speak to them and I hold myself differently, starting to adopt these mannerisms every day helps me to come across like I am confident regardless of whether I feel it or not. Maintaining a posture like this makes you feel stronger and where your body goes, your mind follows.
3) Create a daily routine that supports building your confidence
Something that can help you build on your confidence is creating habits that make you feel good and doing these things every day to give you some structure. This can be as simple as a 10 minute morning routine, or a self-care night routine.
First, establish what things make you lack confidence, for me, it starts with my mind but working on myself physically helps me to get my mind on the right track, to begin with. Making the gym and running a regular part of my routine helps with my mental health and how I feel about my body so I know that it is something I have to stick with as it helps to boost my confidence. Secondly is skincare, breakouts can contribute to my lack of confidence so I did some research on what products suit my skincare, I spent some money and now I have a morning and nighttime skincare routine that helps keep my skin looking great and helps me feel great too.
Figure out what works for you because those things will make sure that you are being consistent with your self-confidence building plan. For example, I try to write down things I love about myself every day, incorporating this into my daily routine helps me to stay on track to building my confidence.
If you need some inspiration starting your confidence building routine create a board on Pinterest and start to visualise the things you would like to do more to get to where you want to be.
4) Prioritise alone time
This may seem like a strange one but it's one of the most important. I noticed I started to lack confidence when I was constantly around others, I felt I lacked my own identity and struggled to actually like myself when I was alone (which is not something you want to get used to!). Being alone can suck and I have had my fair share of lonely nights and being down on myself however the real power to confidence comes when you are content on your own and in a big group of people.
You need time to process and reflect on all the changes you are making in your life and what you are learning about yourself. Those precious moments of solitude are carefully curated to bring peace to your heart and mind in the middle of the chaos. Get comfortable being alone and that's when you will learn you don't need others to feel happy, you can be confident in knowing the person that you are is always enough! Take yourself out on a date and buy yourself a coffee or a treat, read a book outside or go for a walk on your own. Doing things alone used to terrify me and at times it still does but I no longer let it stop me from doing the things I want to do which in return has made me a lot more confident.
When you spend time on your own you start to notice things about yourself and your personality that you may have never recognised before. It allows you to start to fall in love with the amazing person that you are and that my dear is the secret to real confidence.
Lastly I want to say be patient, it's not going to happen all at once and you will have good days and bad days however it is a journey and you have to be kind to yourself. YOU ARE A BADASS AND YOU DESERVE TO FEEL LIKE ONE EVERY DAY! and trust me when I say you don't need anyone else to complete you or make you feel good about yourself you can do that all on your own.
If you liked this post leave a comment about your own journey with confidence or check out some of my other recent posts! Lots of love and see you in the next post.
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