As many of you know this year has been a hard one for me, and for the rest of the world. When times get tough I often find myself scrambling to do something new or to try something, anything that might make those uneasy feelings go away. Scrolling through social media, in particular, Instagram is one of those obsessions that I find I either love or love to hate. I like social media for many reasons such as connecting with friends, sharing exciting photography, blogs or content that I have created and getting inspired by others. However, it also has it's downfalls and when I am in a slightly low headspace I find it can be a toxic space to spend my time. Seeing others living their best life during a time when you feel your own world is falling apart can seriously impact your mental health. As a huge advocate for mental health, I knew I needed to take some time off from social media and not just a few days but actually for a month! Yes you heard me I deleted my Instagram app for a month, and I only used Facebook messenger to contact people. I want to discuss in this blog what I learned during this month and why I think it is something we all should do from time to time.
I did my social media detox during August and September without realising that there was actually a campaign regarding a #digitaldetoxday on September 5th. Find out more about digital detox day here. I am so happy to see a hashtag supporting such a positive cause, even doing a detox for one day can do wonders for your mental health!
1) I was a better person to spend time with:
The first thing that I noticed during this month was that I found I made more of an effort when I was out and about with friends. Without the need to go onto my phone and aimlessly scroll I was able to be a better friend to spend time with as I listened, looked people in the eye and didn't get distracted by my phone. It was refreshing to listen to others and not have the sense of missing out on whats happening in the digital world so I could fully immerse myself in my conversations.
2) I learned how to live in the moment:
At first I never really understood what this saying meant, I get up every day and live my life how am I not 'living in the moment'?. After doing this digital detox I finally understand what it means to live in the moment, it means your mind isn't somewhere else and is fully present in the moment. I didn't realise just how much I focus on getting a picture of what I'm doing just for social media purposes! I didn't think I was as bad as I actually was! I would think about what to wear because I needed to look good for a group picture or to look good in my quick boomerang - how crazy is this thought process!! I admit I love fashion photography and fitness blogs so I totally understand that lifestyle of capturing a great photo however letting it consume every event in your life is just too much. I didn't have access to upload a picture of that walk I was on or that brunch I had with a friend so I learned to just enjoy that time without the pressure to get a nice shot.
3) Not everyone needs to know what I'm doing all the time:
This is one of the biggest things I learned not to mention one of the most refreshing things I felt was knowing that nobody knows what I'm up to and that's kind of nice! Nobody knew where I was and who I was with and that's ok, people don't have to know what's going on with me all the time. I was anxious at first that people would suspect something was wrong, that people knew I must be 'going through a hard time' because I'm not posting anything, however, nobody really noticed which showed me that I don't need to share so much of myself with other people - I can live my best life and not have to show it off to anyone else. Having my life become more private is the most liberating feelings I have ever felt, I don't have a fear of missing out when I don't know what's happening and I'm focusing on my own life enjoyment instead. It's crazy to me how much I let social media affect my emotions and my mindset, seeing an event that I wasn't invited to even if it was with people who I am not that close too can send me into this sad place of loneliness, however, when things are out of sight they well and truly are out of mind. I would recommend everyone try this after going through something life-changing because what I have learned is that nothing good really comes from social media stalking, what are we really gaining from doing this? Literally, nothing, focus on you boo boo that's what really matters!
4) It helped me to relax:
Excessive social media and technology use is associated with things like low self-esteem, loneliness, and in some cases depression. But researchers who put together a 2017 meta-analysis published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking says that if relationships exist between usage and negative emotions, that doesn't necessarily mean that technology and social media causes it. Some of us do however associate these negative emotions such as anxiety with the constant need to communicate with others. My experience helped me to relax a bit more, there was no pressure to post anything, therefore, there was no pressure to look for a number of likes or check who had seen my post, your mind can be filled with more positive thoughts that don't associate with social media at all. I understand that people have created an income from a number of likes on social media platforms and so for some, it can be important however for those of us who use it for different purposes we allow likes to validate ourselves which is a toxic mindset to have and can create these negative emotions. You don't need validation from some random on social media you are enough as you are and don't you ever forget that! I used to get this dreaded feeling after posting something due to the fear that nobody would like it or someone will see and say something negative, not having that taught me to relax a lot more.
5) I got a better nights sleep: It's not uncommon to most people that the lights on our phones are bad for us to look at right before we sleep, this is something we all know but we tend to keep scrolling anyway. I noticed that when I picked up a book before bed or listened to a meditation track before I slept that I actually had an amazing nights sleep and woke up refreshed rather than feeling like I could go back to bed for hours. I always set a goal for myself to read more yet I have had the same book on my bedside table for years now, however during my social media detox I have almost finished that book! I haven't read an entire book since high school and that is sad to admit but it is true. Social media consumed so much of my free time and for what? I could be spending my time learning new skills and improving as an individual rather than consuming my mind with other peoples lives.
6) My anxiety has lowered:
I have had anxiety for a very long period of my life and unfortunately, it is something that might not go away easily however my time off from social media has definitely helped lower those anxious feelings. I never associated social media with my anxiety, I always thought my anxiety came up due to new situations, social events and pushing myself out of my comfort zone however now I know that social media plays a huge part in my anxiety. I've learned that I have this need to be liked by everyone and that's why I am often shy and reserved because of fear of being rejected or not fitting in, social media is definitely a place where you put yourself out there and that fear of not being liked must come back to me every time I post. I understand that social media isn't the sole cause of my anxiety and I need to work on self-love and validation so that external forces can't disrupt how I feel about myself, however now that I know that social media is a trigger I can learn to manage how much time I spend on social media so it doesn't impact my anxiety levels.
After my social media detox:
Going forward I will definitely lessen my time on social media platforms, I see the need for social media and how great it can be for businesses and society as a whole however I can see how negative it can be for myself which means I don't need to participate if I don't really want to. I won't be deleting my accounts but I have been spending a lot less time online already, I feel a lot more connected to my own life which is creating a more positive and happier version of myself. I am not comparing myself to other girls which is something I hate to admit but I would do from time to time. I want to live my life to the fullest and fall in love with who I am without everyone else knowing what I am up to.
I would recommend everyone to try this just once to see what you learn about yourself. Even if you don't feel like you have a negative relationship with social media you may be surprised what you learn. It has opened my eyes up to how I am living my life and what I give my time to, the time we have is precious and it is important to use our time wisely. If anyone tries this out leave a comment about what you found to be the most rewarding thing about taking time off of social media. Thanks for reading! xx
Comments